You’re Not a Failure Because You’re Getting a Divorce
April 16th, 2009 | 
Author: It makes no difference what the details are, getting divorced makes you feel like you’ve failed. It’s not a good feeling to realize that the vows you took have been broken. This is a sad fact that we see frequently with our Austin divorce clients.
There is healing that takes place after a divorce, but first there is grief, even if the divorce is something that should have happened a long time ago. If you’re still waiting to get divorced, then you may want to consider a No Nonsense Divorce in Austin Texas. Generally, it takes a long while for the healing process to be finalized and during that time people are very open and vulnerable. It is a time for reducing every other possible stress in life so that the healing process can happen.
This is not a good time to take up a new relationship because at this point, the divorced person has not truly separated from the ex-partner psychologically. The typical rebound relationship occurs when individuals find someone new too quickly after the divorce. This can add to the grief and emotional difficulty.
The important way to handle divorce is to consider that the pain stands for something. Without developing insight into what the problems of the relationship were that led to the divorce, no matter who had the primary issues, people are likely to repeat the psychological dynamics. For example, a person who leaves a violent relationship should be getting out of that kind of situation, but is at risk for getting into another violent relationship.
A counselor, church pastor, or friend, can help identify things that caused a relationship to progress. It would be good to look at the signs that things were wrong back when they might have been changeable. For example, when a person feels consistently disrespected in a relationship, the chances are the disrespect began happening early in the relationship and was tolerated rather than dealt with. A person who listens well and is wise can help with figuring out what could have been done besides just allowing the disrespect.
An alternative, positive technique is journaling. Writing lets you figure out the way you feel about what has happened in your life. There are many excellent self-help books that may inspire journal writing and help you understand what went wrong. Find a nice blank book for your journal or just use an old spiral notebook.
Divorces are survivable; second marriages often offer more happiness than marriages formed between people young and emotionally immature. You can learn more about different ways to face divorce by watcing the workshop about divorce in Austin. But in order to get into a happier second marriage, it is important to do some learning about what happened in that original relationship and take steps towards preventing the same thing from happening again.
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