How To Win Him Back

Posts Tagged ‘Stop the breakup’

You work long hours and she doesn’t feel you are there for her. She spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and you feel that she doesn’t have time for your needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide if the relationship is worth saving. While almost any relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties have to agree that they want to make it work. If one party truly wants to end a relationship then there is little that can be done.

Many stay in a relationship for convenience or remain in a marriage for the children, but that just is not enough. A relationship cannot be saved unless both parties involved make a commitment that it is worth saving.

The next step is to pinpoint the problem or problems with your relationship. One of the biggest problems with saving a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think break ups are caused by affairs. In truth, the affair is just a symptom of a much deeper problem. A lack of true intimacy can lead a spouse to stray, for instance. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means you have to verbalize your own feelings as well as listen to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner says things that hurt just remember that they are not doing it to hurt you. Rather it is because they just want to improve the relationship.

Once you have identified the cause of the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take definite, positive steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend as much time together as you used to, plan a special date night once a week. You can take turns coming up with interesting ways to spend a romantic evening together each Wednesday. If lack of communication is the problem, spend 20 minutes every night just talking to each other.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You may take two steps forward only to take a step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to accuse.

Is your relationship worth saving? Read more about how to save a relationship at Stop-The-Breakup.com

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