Posts Tagged ‘relationship advice’

Dealing with Anger and Saving Your Relationship

How do you express your anger?

  • Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
  • You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
  • Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments

The choices above simply shows that you have not learned how to constructively express  anger. This beaviour isn’t likely to lead to many successful relationships.
It is hard to express anger in a controlled manner. The tendency for most is to explode and rant on.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But do you think walking out of the situaton a healthy way? It is important to express your anger because it will pile up inside you.
Why it is necessary to express your anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. Rather than confronting them, he gets back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying a personality that is hostile and cynical. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some simple ways to control your anger :

  • By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
  • You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
  • You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems

Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.

Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class

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Fighting Fairly to Resolve Conflict

Fighting or arguing is a part of any relationship. Conflict helps you relationship grow. Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times. Some relationships, if not carefully handled, can easily fall into pitfalls.
You become an enemy in the eyes of your significant Other if there is a fight between the two fo you. What kind of enemy do you think you are?

Are you a good or bad enemy?

Do you escape and avoid arguments in your relationship?
If you fighting your battles alone, fire against fire, or for your self-defense, or too lazy, proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
On the other hand, a good enemy does not avoid any arguments. A good enemy listens and makes an effort to solve the conflict. If you have a strength of character and enough patience, you would be able to handle situations easily.

There is desperation, loneliness and need for contact behind the idea of arguing, it is a good sign if you are able to detect these hidden contents.

Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
- You always feel how important it is for your partner to feel good about themselves each day. - Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers - Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship - You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. - You recognize and accept your shortcomings and think of ways for you to become a better partner - You treat your partner with respect and dignity at all times
You get caught in the stresses of daily living and dealing with a difficult partner makes it worse. but if you are able to deal with it, it shows that you have a skill of a good enemy.

The skills of a good enemy:

  • Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
  • Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
  • Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
  • Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
  • Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner

You must also understand that in your relationship, you should always work through problems and settle your differences in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and peaceful atmosphere. Fighting is not to make you look like a bad person but rather the opposite.

Is your relationship beyond repair? 
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts

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Review Of The Magic Of Making Up

Everyone has gone through some form of a break-up at one time or another. While no one hopes for a relationship to go bad, it is something that happens. However, you do not have to give up hope on the love of your life as there are ways for you to get that special someone back into your life. The Magic of Making Up claims to have just what you need to get your lover back in your arms.

When you download this system, you will have instance access to a step by step love recipe. Even though you will notice these aren’t your conventional methods, they will help you get back together. What’s the worst that can happen? You end up right back where are… single.

There are countless ways you can benefit from The Magic of Making Up according to this system. First off, it will help you get focused and recompose yourself. There is no question that break-ups can be painful. However, sobbing over this emotional pain and depression is going to get you no where. You will read just what you need to instantly feel better about the situation.

You will learn a lot about the person you love during this break up period. This is because you will learn what you need to do to make sure that you get her back. Most people do not know that there is a single reason why most men leave women and it is not because of beauty, sex, or a more beautiful face.

Something that can be difficult to determine is when the right time to say your sorry is. Sometimes all it takes is one whole-hearted apology to reconcile. Other times, that single apology can do more damage than harm. It is important you take the tips from this system to understand when the right time to apologize is.

Then there will be times when you start to wonder whether or not your ex still cares about you. This is quite difficult, and it’s extremely hard to handle. The Magic of Making Up gives you all the tell-tale signs your ex leaves behind to let you know they still care.

One thing that you have to realize is that these things are going to take time. No matter what you do typically you are not going to get that person back overnight. It will take time, and making sure that you have The Magic of Making Up will certainly help you in your quest to get that special someone back.

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Managing Interpersonal Conflict

Do you feel like escaping or avoiding any conflict situation?

Do you fear pushed to accept compromises where you don’t get your needs met?

Today I want to discuss with you how to deal with conflicting situations instead of avoiding them. You are also going to learn more ways on how to deal with handling issues and find solutions in every conflict that you encounter.

What if there are more ways of dealing with conflict, besides avoiding or denying it? What if you could use these opportunities to strengthen and deepen your relationships adding a deep feeling of connection, more meaning and sense of satisfaction?

You may think that avoiding conflict situation to keep the peace.

But the question is, do you feel happy deep inside? Or you are just giving up your own needs of recognition and affection, in exchange of ‘peace’?

Here are some thoughts while dealing with conflictive situations:

  • You have to be able to give in once in a while. It is fair for the both of you.
  • Just agreed to avoid the silent treatment.
  • It is best to calm things down.
  • It is worse hearing the same things over and over again so avoid bringing up the past.

It just seems so easy to ignore the problems or just accept them, than trying to do something about your differences. Specially when you don’t know how to approach the situation and get something positive out of it.

Your partner expects that that is the way you are going to react so they continue doing what they have always done. At your expenses..

Unfortunately, these unresolved issues tend to bulid up inside you and at the end there will be so much accumulate resentment it will be too late for you to save your relationship.

Remember: Small differences arise between people in their everyday lives. If you decide something for your relationship, then both of you should be willing to commit to the resolution that you have made. Conflict can save your relationship If things are done in a thoughtful manner…

Meanwhile, you can wait for your next lesson, coming to your inbox soon!

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site Positive Conflicts , And get your copy of The Art of Positive Conflicts

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The Negative Effects of Passive Aggressive Behavior in a Relationship

Do you feel unhappy eventhough you are with someone whom you are supposed to be intimate with? Do you feel that your relationship becomes stressful and hard to deal with?
There could be contributing factors in your relationship with your partner that puts you in an unhappy state. We can presume that your partner might be in a matured relationship with you but what you may not know is that he may have unresolved personal pain from childhood that makes him hard to deal with. You partner might also never learnt how to accept and manage his anger. You must know the reason why your relationship is in a chaotic situation, if you fail to do so, chances are you will have a hard time dealing with your partner and your relationship as a whole.
In this article, you will find out if your partner has passive aggressive tendencies harmful to your relationship. This will help you understand your partner and save your relationship from being destroyed. If you are able to understand his past, you can stand up and regain your self-respect.
These are some signs of a person who has a passive aggressive behavior:
- Acts passive but aggressively gets what he wants - Agrees up front then doesn’t do what he agreed to and make things complicated in the end - Strikes his anger indirectly - Gets out of the situation where there is confrontation and criticism over an issue - Complaining about anything and thinks deeply how his life is being cursed
A passive aggressive person are emotionally unavailable and can’t allow anybody to get very emotional close. They tend to reject emotional situations and would usually find comfort by their inner isolation.
Emotional and contradictory messages can confuse you eventhough you try to be patient and understanding. They would blame you for making them angry. As a result, you feel dismissed, ignored and rejected. You do not know how to process and react.  The negative environment alone can diminish your ability to decide, think and pinpoint the bad side of the relationship.
Your passive aggressive partner is confusing you that is why the situation does not improve; at some point, you explode. Over time, you will find yourself violent towards your partner as well, which was not part of your behavior before.
Do you want to be happy in a relationship?

If YES, your should understand that YOU have nothing to do with it and that you are just fine! The fact is that he would react in the same way to any one who threatens to enter into his private world. His fear is not of you, but of intimacy and yielding to emotional compromise with any woman. When conflict appears, you should know where you stand so you can decide what to do with your life.

To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Get your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship
before I take it off line!

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How to Stop Uncontrolled Anger from Destroying a Loving Relationship

Is it any wonder that your strong emotion of anger may hurt, destroy, and poison a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of being overcome by it? Yes- if you start changing your attitude in mind. This means that you must stop making excuses for your bad temper. You must bear in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true nature. Although it is an expression of extreme negative emotion, it shatters relationship and breeds violence.

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must learn how to control your anger by applying practical methods in your daily life.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an early stage before it gets worse.

Here are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

  • Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
  • Threatening others
  • Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
  • Feeling rejected
  • Withdrawal from friends
  • Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you are responsible for making the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

  • Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
  • It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
  • Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
  • Humor can be used to help you face your problems more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
  • Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
  • Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. The best mentality is to focus on how to handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts
You may also want to check out this online anger management class

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Don’t Let Anger Destroy Your Relationship

Happiness, as we all know, come from the relationship around you.
We all want to build a loving and lasting relationship but it is not that easy. Somewhere along the road, things will get in the way and you find yourself unable to maintain  your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. Whether you choose express it or not, it is still one thing that is going to do some damage.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
When one becomes really angry it creates a need to try to control everything. The effects of being angry is the damage done to the relationship. Anger results to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely.

But ask yourself:
Does this help your relationship?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

  • Anger can quickly destroy a relationship that has been good for a long time.
  • - Anger can affect self-esteem and confidence.
  • Anger can affect anything especially love, self esteem and trust.
  • Anger is full of uncertainty and fear, it makes you say and do things that you will regret.

If there is too much anger in your present situation or if you are in a relationship with someone who is easily angered, then perhaps you should start thinking if you still have an intimate life with your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Intimacy is delicate, once destroyed by anger, it affects trust and honesty. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance  are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.

Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.

 Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.

If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow anyone of you to erupt into criticism. Instead, find ways to discuss it in a civilized manner with a clear mind and open heart.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts


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Top 10 Signs of a Cheating Partner

Do you wonder if your spouse is cheating? These are the top 10 signs that your spouse is cheating. These  do not always  mean that they are cheating. However too many of these are a good indication that something is going on. If you see these happening, you should talk to your partner about it. If you are already having trust issues, you may have a close friend or spritual leader speak with them about it. Although these are not a definite show of cheating, they are all factors that mean something dishonest is going on. These are in no particular order.

Be aware of these 10 signs of a cheating spouse:

1. Evasiveness
—evasiveness over who they spend time with is one signal of an affair. If someone is cheating, he or she will try to keep you in the dark about whom they are with.

2.  Sudden Attention to Appearance—sudden changes in attitude towards their appearance is a sign of something changing. Do they get dressed up just to run some errands? Have they suddenly changed their hairstyle or the way they dress, with no explanation for why?

3. Finding Gift reciepts that you never recieved — finding receipts for gifts you, never received such as flowers or jewelry is a big sign of something going on.  They may be hidden for later, but often this is a sign that they were for someone else.

4. Changes in intimacy—this will vary in many different ways. If they suddenly have no interest in intimacy, or suddenly start wanting to try new things, this could be a bad sign for your relationship

5. Suddenly changing time away from home — if your spouse suddenly working more, but no signs of it in their pay, you may need to be concerned. Are they having to go away more frequently, or spending late nights at work? Find out from their coworkers if this is really job related or not.

6. Frequently breaking plans —if your spouse suddenly is changing plans, and cannot keep home commitments, you need to question why. This does not mean each time it happens, but something is going on if it becomes normal.

7. Hiding phone conversations —notice if they are taking suspicious phone calls. Do they make a habit of getting off the phone suddenly whenever you walk in the room? Do they get a lot of calls and have to leave the room to take them? If they are cheating, they will try to hide the purpose of the calls they receive.

8. Trust your Instincts —Believe in your inner guidance. If it tells you something is going on, look into it. Make sure it is intuition and not just a jealous fear from a past relationship.

9. Finding Contraceptives you do not use —finding a box of condoms, or contraceptives, even though you do not use them, is a bad sign. If you find these, you need to confront your spouse quickly.

10. Hiding computer chats —if your partner is spending a lot of time chatting on the computer, but has to shut it off and delete any messages when you walk in the room, this is very suspicious. IF they cannot trust you to find out what they are chatting about, you need to be wary of who they spend time with online.

These are not definitive. However, if you have half or more of these signs in your marriage, you need to talk with your spouse immediately. Once you know these 10 signs of a cheating spouse, you will know if your marriage is in trouble. take time to learn all you can when dealing with infidelity. You want to be sure that you are right before accusing your spouse of cheating.

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How to decide to make up or move on

One of the toughest things to decide during a break up is to move on or try to makeup.It is a tough choice.Of course you will find yourself with a decision to make if you were the one that got left.If you were left still with feelings for the other person it will be a very hard decision for you to make.But really you need to take a look and see if it could have been your fault. Or was your significant other not in a position to settle down.

In this article just assume that it was something that you had done.  Maybe you cheated on them.Or maybe you just weren’t truthful a lot of times.Or maybe you were to overbearing. There are plenty of reasons.  But most of the time break up are fixable.  You just have to learn how to get ex back.There are some things you can do that work.

Where are these techiques to be found.If you start searching on the internet you are going to be able to find some good resources.  Some of those resources are free.But some of methods you will find will be paid methods.  You can find all kinds of material that can show you how to get ex boyfriend back.Or you might be able to find some information that can show you how to get your ex back.Best approach you can take is to examine all the materials.  If it sounds like something that can work go for it.

But you are also able to compare it to the paid methods.There are a few good ones you out there.  Things that teach you how to get ex girlfriend back are all around. One of the advantages is you can check for testimonials.You can take a look at see if they offer a guarantee.  If your relationship is something you value it may be worth it.Because if you take a look at it, if this doesn’t work you have the guarantee to back you up.In that situation you don’t have much to lose.  But if it works you have everything to gain.

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“I want to attract the love of my dreams, how do I free myself from the painful memories and heartaches of my past?? ”

Free Relationship Video

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction Expert , writes… …

Donna from North Carolina wrote me to ask me that question As a Law of Attraction relationship coach, here’s the relationship advice I have for her. Donna, It’s so important that you realize how critical it is to release the past before a love relationship can come in.

The Law of Attraction states “you attract more of what you focus on.” Before we can find and keep love, clearing out the past and healing old wounds is necessary. The past takes up emotional space. It’s impossible to occupy a space when that space is already taken. You’d never try to park your car in a spot that already had a car there.. That’s what is happening energetically when you try to do that in a relationship.

You can get online Law of Attraction relationship coaching to teach you how to create emotional space as a way of clearing that out. You want to look at what energy you’re holding about the hurt. There’s a story you’re telling yourself that is playing out as a truth for you. Once you clear out that stuck energy pattern, you’ll be able to say ‘yes’ to love..

You may have a smile on your face and be dressed to the nines with a smile on your face, but you’ve got this energy field you’re dragging around that’s draining your energy and killing the possibility of living a happy fulfilling life in relationship~As long as you’re dragging around the past with all the drama and trauma, it doesn’t matter where you go or how good you look, you won’t be completely fulfilled.

You’ll learn much more about how to Make Space and Clearing Out the Old AND Seven more Secrets to Finding the Love of Your Dreams, when you get my FREE DVD called “7 Secrets to Finding the Love of Your Dreams” — Just go to www.loveofyourdreams.com

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