How To Win Him Back

Frank is at the job every day all day. Suzy is complaining that he is not present enough. Suzy is busy taking care of the children and Jim is complaining that she does not pay enough attention to him. So, how do you save a relationship like this? Here is how I would get started.

Before we carry on, I want to share a couple extra valuable resources with you. To begin with, you can learn why your ex leaves you without warning. This knowledge can help you to get your boyfriend back fast. Also, here is some great “get back with my boyfriend, help. Here, you can also learn what to do when your ex does not return your text messages. This is vital because your probable reaction would be to send oodles of IMs or telephone. This will only drive him away. Finally, discover how to get your ex back fast with these extra resources. You will find dozens of practical articles and ex-back book recommendations. Now, let’s return to our main subject.

The first step is always to assess if the relationship is worth saving. If there is violence in the relationship, then it is best to end it immediately. When there is violence involved, the relationship should be ended immediately. No other problem is too big to handle as long is there is NOT violence involved. If the relationship is otherwise peaceful, then stick with it.

If there is any violence involved, get out now. On the other hand, if there is no violence, then it does not really matter what the other issues are, this relationship is worth saving. Especially since there are kids involved. Do not be selfish and leave a relationship with kids just because you are not “fulfilled”. It is not about you anymore. It is about the kids.

The next step is to find the problem. It is not always what you think it is. We are often distracted by symptoms. 

Finish this sentence: I broke up or separated with my lover because he or she (fill in the blank). The reason you put in the blank likely is not the main problem. Seriously! It is likely only a symptom. Take a look again at what you put in the blank. Why did THAT happen? Was there a reason that THAT happened? If so, then why did THAT happen? When you are done you sould have something like this: problem <– caused by this <– caused by this <– caused by this. Keep working back until you can not go back any more. Bingo, you have found your problem.

Once you stop wasting time trying to address symptoms and start focusing on the real problem, you should start to make fast progress. 

You can start sharing thoughts once you are talking about the real problem. As you talk about your problems, try to be intimate. For example, hold hands or cuddle on the couch. Try not to be hurt by the conversation. There are likely to be things said that are hard to hear. This is ok. It is part of the healing process.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.  And, then do it.

Do not fool yourself into thinking that there will be an end to this process of solving problems. Plan on this going on for the rest of your lives. Successful relationships are always going through the process of identifying problems and then solving them. The cycle will likely never end.  

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

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