How Can Getting Back At You Ex Get Your Ex Back?
January 4th, 2010 | 
Author: Just like the sun rises, break-ups do happen. This is good sometimes. A lot of work goes into a relationship, hopefully by both partners, but there are always times when one or both feel taken for granted, or loved less.
When a break up does happen there is a natural tendency to want to get back together, on the part of at least one of the former partners. The first question to ask is whether this is even a good idea, because not all relationships are worth trying to save. If it is a good idea, then some strategies to help are worth exploring.
It is normal to have thoughts about getting back with your ex. Don’t go too far with this, but a little is OK. However, would it not be great to follow some strategies that might achieve both at the same time. Consider these 5 strategies, and see if they help.
Strength is good. Why would anybody be interested in a whimperer. Or if the relationship was based on that codependency of a whimpering weakling and a soother, then run for your life as this was an unhealthy relationship to begin with and is not worth saving. If your ex thinks you are dealing well with the break up, this will make you seem more attractive and balanced.
You need time to clear your mind, and so does your ex. Therefore a time with no contact is a great idea. If you feel a little depressed about having no communication and are missing your ex, then remember that is probably what your ex is going through also. This bodes well for reconciliation. If both parties can begin to realize how special and valuable the other person was, there is a great foundation for reconciling. Your ex needs to come to that conclusion by themselves, just as you do. That is why a period with no communication is a good idea.
It is a must to show flexibility. No deadlines and no ultimatums. Slowly build up the communication. And remember, communication is not just you talking. You must be listening also. Make sure at this critical juncture that you are really listening and hearing what is actually being said. Not what you want them to say, or what you think they are saying. This means what they are saying exactly. And this is not as easy as it sounds, particularly at times of high emotion.
You must be yourself. Do not try to be someone else that you think your ex would prefer. Be you. After all, if your ex does not want you back, and you think that you have to be somebody else in order to win them back, this will not work. Be you, and allow your ex to be themselves as well. Make sure you want to get back with your real ex, not the person you want them to be.
Hang out with friends. This is no time to be alone, lamenting the past. Get out there and have fun. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you are compelled to try another relationship, or date. Statistics say that rebound relationships are not likely to succeed in any event. Being seen to have a normal healthy social life with friends, even in the face of the break up, makes you more attractive to your ex in any event.
The author operates a Save Your Relationship site, you can read more about Getting Your Ex Back
Mail this post
Posted in 
Tags: