How To Win Him Back
So you want to get your man back in your life following a break up. Splitting up is always an emotional time, and as such it is not a great time for rational decision making. Before you learn how to win him back, you need to be absolutely sure that really is the right course of action for you. It’s very easy to let your heart rule your head in these difficult times.
Whilst your heart may be hurting right now, at the end of the day you have split up for a reason, and before you pursue getting him back, you need to fully understand the reasons behind the break up. By taking time out to analyse the reasons, you can think about whether things can be better going forward, or whether you’ll just end up in the same boat again should you get back together now.
Ask yourself truthfully, can you really have the same feelings again that you had when you first met, or has the spark really gone out forever? You need to be honest with yourself, there really is no point chasing an impossible dream. Are you really in love with your bloke or is it more of a case that you’re scared of being on your own? It sounds like a harsh question, but honesty with yourself is important to ensure you make the right decisions to stop you being hurt in the future.
Ok, so you’ve made a list of all the pros and cons to getting back together with him, and there are more pros than cons, and you genuinely believe you can recapture your love for each other. What next?
Well let’s talk about what not to do?
Firstly don’t keep calling or texting him repeatedly. Going for the sympathy vote won’t get you back together. You want him to love you, and to respect you, not feel sorry for you. Long term happy relationships are not founded on sympathy! You need to be far more constructive in your actions.
Secondly, avoid arguing with him. Arguing over who’s caused the break up, or who’s at fault or over who keeps what possessions will serve no constructive purpose other than to alienate you from him further, which is the last thing you want to do.
You have to avoid these all too common mistakes. Instead you need to be positive and constructive, and when you do actually come into contact with your ex, you want them to see a confident, attractive you, someone they will want to be with again. So how do you go about achieving that desire?
The next step is to try and figure out what went wrong so that you can take action to put it right.
Usually if you’re honest with yourself, you can figure it out on your own, but if not ask one of his friends to talk to you, or if you can keep your emotions under control, talk to him about what went wrong. Hearing it from someone else will bring it home to you with a bang what it is you need to change.
Always resist the temptation to feel sorry for yourself and go for the sympathy vote. Begging him to take you back is not going to work, yet so many women try it! He wants a girlfriend he can respect and who is a challenge, not some weak female with no self respect. You have to respect yourself before you can expect him to respect and love you again. You want his love not his pity!
Having clearly identified what the problem in your relationship was, you can get on with the task of winning him back. Make a list of things you can do to put the problem right , things that will clearly signal to him that you intend things to be different in the future. Writing a list that you can read every day to yourself is a great way of making sure you actually do them. Retrieving your relationship is not going to happen overnight, but with time if you can prove to your ex that you have recognised the problem and have addressed it you will at least have a chance of getting him back.
Find opportunities to show him you’ve changed and to remind him of the good times you had together, but in a romantic, rather than desperate way. Dress to impress and flirt with him, try to excite him. Men are simple creatures, if you can turn him on you have a chance. You effectively need to start wowing him all over again, just as you did when you first met.
If you need help thinking up great ideas for seducing your ex, this book, the Magic Of Making Up , all about how to win him back, is just what you need! It’s full of great advice for winning back your man’s heart. It covers all the potential reasons for why relationships break up, and how to salvage them. I highly recommend you read it if you’re really serious about winning your ex back!
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